Rituals

Rituals – every person, every family has them. We may not even realize what they are, but we have them. The way we eat our meals, take a shower, get ready for bed, what we do on the Sabbath day, etc., etc. It is the rituals that, combined, create individual and family traditions.

My wife and I have lived in the Alaska wilderness for the past 22 years. We have raised eight children here – only our eldest two daughters are old enough to have much memory of our pre-Alaska life. Life in the Alaska wilderness demands a certain life style. Extreme climate conditions (i.e. temperatures in the 30°F to 60°F below zero range) are life threatening. Though road connected, we live in an area with a very sparse population. There are no wholesale outlets, box stores, no supermarkets. The nearest supermarket is 150 miles away; the nearest wholesale outlet is 200 miles away. The nearest small town is 15 miles away, and it has a few small (as in very small) mom and pop type stores that cater to year-round local residents and to the tourists that swarm the area in the summer. Because of these conditions, groceries and supplies are not abundant, specialty items and some necessities are not available (there is no clothing store, for example), and those that are available are very expensive. Milk, for example, runs $6 to $7 per gallon, about double what it can be purchased for in Anchorage, and about quadruple what it can be purchased for in most areas of the lower 48.

A commodity that is very expensive, and getting more so all the time, is heating fuel. There are two kinds available in the area: fuel oil and propane. Its one of those situations where they are both more expensive than the other (I don’t know how that works either, but it sure seems like it!). With the high cost of such goods and services, and the not so high wages and salaries in the area, we do not have a lot of money to throw around. Because of this, we built our home to be energy efficient, to conserve heat and water. Our home is designed with a wood stove as its central heater with a fuel oil forced air furnace as a back up. The venting system is designed so the furnace pulls its return air from around the wood stove. The intent is to create a system that will actively circulate heat from the wood stove throughout the house

One ritual that I have, at least for the three-fourths of the year that we have to use supplemental heating, is building a fire in the woodstove every morning. I seem to have a knack for it. The wife and kids can build a fire, but it usually takes them several tries, lots of paper and cardboard fire starter, and sometimes they just give up because they can’t get it going. In contrast, I can usually get a fire started the first try and have the house warmed in only a few minutes. Rarely do I ever have to light a second match (I’m a good Boy Scout!) or refresh the kindling.

What I have to do regularly (in fact, as regularly as the seasons) is collect the firewood we use to heat our home. It takes about 5 cords of wood to last us the winter. I usually make the effort to do this in the last part of September or early October, and I do my best to get it in before snow flies. I use a Honda Fourtrax 300 4x4 with a small trailer to haul my cut firewood out of the forest. I bought this machine 20 years ago, and if you had told me then that it would stand up this long to the work I have used it for, I would not have believed you. It will climb a tree, and it works like a tractor. I can haul about ¼ cord of wood each trip. That is quite a load for my little rig, but it pulls it through some of the most difficult terrain you can imagine without any problem – unless there is significant snow on the ground. Much more than 8” of unpacked snow, and my little 4x4 “swims” in it and is not much good for pulling any load.

The collection of our winter wood supply has developed into one of our family traditions. Our kids always whined and complained about it, but I would drag them along to help as often as I could. Believe me, gathering our wood supply is a lot of work! I do most of the chain saw operation and hauling of the biggest logs, and I get the kids to do much of the gathering of cut logs and hauling to the rig to be loaded. I always find it satisfying. It has been said that firewood warms you three times, once when you cut it, once when you split it, and finally when you burn it.

As our children get older and get to be more our friends than our kids, we can converse with them as adults. It is amazing sometimes to learn what our children pick up on during their childhood. Its understandable that they remember and almost always adopt the family holiday traditions they grew up with for their own homes and families when they mature and are on their own. I mean, those are fun and exciting. But I was amazed when at a family gathering in the not too distant past, I mentioned something about gathering the annual wood supply, and my grown son pipes up and says he really misses that annual tradition. I was floored! I had always had the idea that the kids did not like helping to gather the wood, and only helped because I made them. When I expressed my amazement at this pronouncement, one of my daughters spoke up and said that she misses that annual activity too. Other children spoke up expressing similar feelings. Apparently, this annual Fall-time activity has made a positive and indelible impression on our children.

I don’t necessarily consider our wood gathering as fun (as I said, it is a lot of work). But I do find it satisfying, and as Fall approaches every year, I find myself antsy to get out in the woods and get at it. I think this stems from my fear of not having enough firewood to last the winter at least as much as it does from the desire to do so. As the days get rapidly shorter and nighttime temperatures get lower, I will rush home from work, quickly change clothes, gas up the chainsaw, and head out into the woods. I always try to tell my wife about where I will be. I feel better knowing that she can find me in case a bear gets me, or I have an accident, or am otherwise delayed in returning.

My wife will occasionally accompany me (or us, if the kids are here) to help. Though I am comfortable going solo, I always enjoy her company when she does. But, because of household requirements, she often cannot. Sometimes, when I am out making sawdust and loading wood by myself, I will hear a rustle or catch a movement out of the corner of my eye. I will look up and see my beautiful wife like a fairy waif coming through the woods to find me. This always gives me a thrill – makes my heart go pitter-patter. After she does this a time or two, I will catch myself watching for her, hoping she will come, anticipating her arrival. I love her so much. I so desperately want to have a beautiful, loving, unified, intimate, and eternal marriage relationship with her, and none else. Please, God, help us to achieve this.

Rituals – everyone has them.